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I snapped back after asecond or two, but it was a weird experience.Fresh caught the look on my face. "Yes, there's a little something atwork, Shawna." For a second, I was looking at myself through hiseyes, feeling his post-orgasmic crash.Roxanne stuttered, "For a second there, I could...." See through my eyes?" he said.She nodded."It's a talent we have, and it's thanks to this..." He fingered thenecklace. "It helps us be closer together. It also helps us get thefullest use out of our bodies." It's like a communication device?" I said."It's a lot more complex than that. It helps us individually as wellas a group. It's hard to explain, but you're a much happier personwith the necklace than without it. Let me show you."He reached behind my neck and fiddled with it a bit, then unsnapped itand removed it. He held it in his hand as he watched me.For a second, nothing happened. Then my head felt as if a waterballoon had burst. Thoughts were firing around too fast for me. It was that outlet that had probably kept me from even thinking about wanting to die like Melanie. This was a revelation, and it helped explain my need for emotional support and close friends. Without them, I would be lost.For that brief period, when I was adrift without Jennifer or Melanie, I still had Stephanie, Bethany, and Joyce. Without them, well, I could now understand why Melanie had gone off in the car and crashed it. She’d thought she had nobody left who cared for her. Jennifer, Pete, and I had all been estranged in one way or another, Birgit was dead, and Melanie herself had cheated on Pete. Finally now, a year later, I got it.So why was Jennifer pushing me so hard to not depend on people? Just then, I knew she wasn’t. She was dealing with me in the same way Bethany had to get me to make love, and Jennifer herself had to get me to understand my relationship with my mom. I only responded to extremes. I had to be hit over the head with a two-by-four to really think things.
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